Motivation

           So I woke up this morning, prepping for weight watchers, made the mistake of weighing before I left the house. I've gained, I'm not going.

           It's so childish and annoying, I am not one of those "I must be skinny!" types, but I also think I shouldn't be able to pinch two inches on my back... so I want to lose the weight. I'm building some cracking stomach muscles but because of the layer of fat over the top you can't see them. Exercise can build muscle, but on its own it won't make you smaller after all. Then after having my little sulk, one of my friends comes on and has a little sulk followed by an "I'm not giving up that easily moment" and now I feel maybe I should be thinking the same. I'm usually fairly upbeat and positive, spurting motivational statements left, right and centre. So it is a little out of character for me to be so down on myself about not losing. Enough is enough. I am a big girl (age wise) and if I don't like something about myself I either need to get over it and learn to love it or fix it. Whinging helps no one after all.

Time to get off my bum and deal with this, instead of blaming everything except laziness. 

Photos are up!

               Got my photos back from Ken (Base Photography) and there are some great pictures, but I need to pick some for Ultravixen, and I don't want them too generic, think I need some extra special ones at some point, hmmm.....

                On another note my page was unliked last night, normally I lose a liker and I wonder if I did something specific or if they just realised they weren't that interested. This time I have a feeling it was something specific, and I'm not sorry. Ooh bad huh? Someone who has inboxed me several times, been told each of those times that it is not appropriate to pester me for photos and that living down the road from me made it worse and a little creepy. He chose not to take the hint, I lost my temper and I didn't hear from him til about a week ago. Then I made the mistake of answering, so he messaged again and I told him point blank to stop messaging me. He may have got the hint, I hope. Perhaps it was him who unliked, if it was and that is why, then I don't mind. Learn about boundaries man, you crossed them.

              Waiting for photos to upload is tedious, why is my line so slow, this is meant to be a 10mb line?? I don't think my phone line can cope with it, or maybe BT restrict it or something. I don't know enough about broadbamd, I just know this is frustrating.

              Not my imagination lol, just checked my speeds, download, 5386kbps, upload 385! Figures.

Preparation!

           So I'm meant to be having a shoot tomorrow, I say meant to be, because for the most part they haven't gone to plan, I have a 45 minute drive to this so it better go to plan lol, he has some good references and some beautiful photos.

http://purpleport.com/portfolio/kenphotographer/

Excited and nervous are my general reactions, I am prepping myself as we speak, cleaning, trimming and repainting nails, shave legs, find outfits, moisturise face, can't have it refusing to co-operate tomorrow.

I need an early night but that seems unlikely, and I want to sort my basic make up before I leave so that I have plenty of time when I get there, the details are on my phone as to the order we're doing things, which is a little annoying, not sure how I'm going to arrange it to be honest, I'm working on it lol

Hmmmm.... what to pack, what to wear?? We've planned some but not all, and the best way to ensure I can change outfits is to ensure I have items that can cover me under my clothes... lol this is going to be easier said than done, perhaps in the future I should invest in a pop up tent lol.

Hopefully in a few days I will have some photos for you to see! Fingers crossed.

Writing with a rumbling tummy!

              So I crawled into bed last night and showered this morning, getting out of bed was hard work! It did cross my mind though that my legs were the main aching area and that is not my problem area, as I mentioned last night, I need to work on my arms and tummy. Jillian Michaels does do a 6 weeks to 6 pack work out, is it worth a try? I guess it can't hurt... ehem.. actually it definitely can hurt but you get what I mean, it's worth a try. Arms wise, I have no idea, Tracy Anderson does a tough arm work out, maybe I should do hers and the abs one and alternate that with the usual one? 

               On another similar note, my Zombies, Run! app updated to Zombies, Run! 2, I assumed I would have to buy it so I was surprised. I'm starting to build up my new base, please take into account I don't run, I  walk at an increased rate, jog or climb hills lol, and I am not ready to actually be chased, so I know my times are lame lol, but you gotta start somewhere!

This is the link to my base if you want to nosy https://www.zombiesrungame.com/pinklilith/base/.

             Listening to a track list that was sent to my by DJ Otis, its his bbq playlist and it is a great mix of mellow and funky, I'm really enjoying it, totally go listen if it sounds like your thing! It's "The Sound of the Summer Sessions: Backyard Bbq Sauce! (original recipe)".

Oh also, I have a request to any of you that are facebookers, please take a look at my page and vote in a couple of comps for me :D

https://www.facebook.com/PinkLilith1982

Please vote for me (picture number 6) in the Punkin Pie Sponsored Models comp and the Pinup Paradise Covergirl comp :D

Speak laters lovely people :D

Jillian Michaels may be the death of me

              I have done my Jillian Anderson workout, it seems to work my legs the most, ironically not my problem area, perhaps it is time to alternate it with something for abs and arms... Never mind I will get there in the end, right now I need water! I'm boiling and worn out lol. I need a shower now though... ewww.

               So before I go I am going to give an idea of what I look like, minus the make up, the photoshop and the costumes lol.

Night peoples!

Motivation! Get your butt back here!

               I need to do my exercises, not just because I'm trying to lose weight but also because my physio would not be happy if she knew I wasn't doing them. But I can't be bothered. Meh, motivation is eluding me.    Plus I like this music I don't want to have to turn it off, and the cats are sleeping on my yoga mat, that's hell points right? I'm wasting my evening trying to boost my facebook likes, because I can, and that is the only reason. Ooh I did find a new page I like though, Scale Mail on facebook, jewelry made of chain mail and scales, it is really beautiful! This is some seriously stunning stuff!

                  Really beautiful stuff. I want about 80% of their products lol. This is never a good start because I can hear my purse crying from here lol.

                  Alright, I'm going exercise and then shower, and if I survive, I will be back!

Opening Scene.

                  I'm sitting here, on my partners laptop, contemplating gaming with the little voice in the back of my head telling me I should work out and shower first. I've had a filling dinner, which is fine as I had a tiny lunch. But the knowledge that I skipped Weight Watchers this week is lingering in the back of my mind. I also promised my man that I would play on the PC with him tonight. Oh decisions, decisions.

                  Overall, in the grand scheme of things, these aren't important or big decisions but I'm saving those for tomorrow when I have to worry about them, the "can I afford that?" and "have I sorted this?" questions can wait for Monday, not much to be done on a Sunday night really.

                   So yes, I'm on Weight Watchers, not because I "should" be, or because I "have" to but because I know I can afford to lose some weight without hitting dangerous levels and I would feel happier to have a size 12/14 body than a 14/16 body. Having said that I would most love to lose the wobbly arms, but I have weights and I'm working on that lol. But this blog isn't about following my weight loss journey thing (though you may have to occassionally put up with it).

                   It's not about my modelling, I don't consider myself a model really, I think I've not been doing it enough to count myself as such, give it time. Maybe I will start to feel more like one. It's not about my never ending battle to get just the right shade of red hair, knowing I can't go back to what I started with lol. Nor is it about my confusing tastes in clothes or music. Or about the amazing but unusual group of friends I have, or about my idiotic cats or my crazy over intelligent children.

                   It is about all of it. The biker dad, the nurse mum, the nerd in disguise partner, the clever beautiful kids, the endless supply of things I insist on trying, the frequently changing tastes in clothes ( I don't fit one style I like to play with them all), the whinging about weight and excitement when I succeed.

                   I guess you'll just have to tag along and see what it is all about ;)